Granted, but every time you do your dick gets a little bit shorter

I wish soccer was America's favorite sport

Granted, but there are no soccer balls to play the game with

I wish i was invincible

Granted, but you're also ghostlike and can't touch anything nor be touched.

I wish I were God.

Granted, but you can't control people.

I wish for a 4 day week-end.

granted but u have a 7 day week in between

i wish all games where free

God cant control people anyway.....

Granted, but you never have time to play them

I wish my wishes were not corrupted

granted, but you don't have the brains to make a worthwhile wish.

i wish i had my dream job.

Granted, but your dream job is shoveling elephant poop

I wish I had perfect vision.

Granted, but that is your only sense.

I wish I could have an all-expense paid trip to Japan.

Granted, but you have no other sense

I wish this kool aid had a taste

Granted, but it's the last kool aid drink you'll ever have.

I wish the grass was greener on the other side

granted. it IS greener on the other side. you just have to get through the hoards of undead to get there.

i wish movies were real :P

Granted, but your life revolves around a gay porn film.

I wish I had an infinite supply of Cherry Blasters.

(since no one did your last one ice i shall grant u two.)

granted but its to Hiroshima on August 6, 1945


granted but u are allergic to sugar.

i wish i had no problems

ooh that is a hard one to deal with but ur in helllllll

i wish i had a beautiful gf and ther was nothing wrong with me or her and we lived happily

Granted, but you only live happily for 3 hours.

I wish I was built.

Granted, but you have agoraphobia

I wish this game would end

granted, but you keep replaying it in your mind over and over again for all eternity, its all you can think about.

i wish everything i touched turned to gold

granted but then one day u touch ur wife and kids and then u are left with no-one and u cant eat or drink

i wish 3 hours lasted 4 ever

Granted but you cant move or touch anything...you just stand there and stare at nothing

I wish whatever monetary denomination you use to buy things grew on trees

Granted, but it's the Great Depression, and all currency is worthless.

I wish Ice would get a new computer so I can play games with him again

granted but his yours is broken

i wish money grew on trees

That wasn't just asked.

Granted, but inflation is at 999999999999%

I wish this damn board didn't have a letter limit

granted but your computer will only let u type 100 letters per half hour

i wish
whatever i wanted to watch was on on every channel on tv

Granted, but both of your eyes are stabbed out and there is no sound.

I wish I had something to eat right now.

Granted, but everytime you eat something u throw it back up right away.

I wish I didnt have to goto the dentist tomorrow

granted but u ahve an operation o pull out ur teeth under no sedation

i wish i had a nice gf

well you dont, get the fuck over it

LMFAO

granted but she doesn't remember you or know who you are

I wish gas wasn't so expensive(racing fuel is $6.49/gal)LMAO

Granted, but while pulling up to a station which is selling gas for $2.60 gal, another racing vehicle spots the deal at the same time you do. As you both rev your engines to let the other know intentions on securing the final spot, a top-secret terrorist attack that has taken over 20 years to coordinate is finally executed. Every major gas station chain has had their installation facilities breached, and all replaced tanks in the last 10 years have had small detonation devices hidden inside of various underground tanks in America.

After being out-maneuvered to the last spot for this unbelievably cheap deal in gas, you hear on your radio that another tragic loss in "race" history has also occurred. Hilary Clinton is now the first female president. While giving the speech, ELF activists set off their intricate plan, wiping hundreds of thousands of people, as well as their vehicles off of their Planet Earth in one swift attack.

You survived, but a few miles away, en-route to a soccer game, your only son and wife are ripped away from you. The family you helped raise, maintain, and loved are victims of ELFs biggest attack. All of the memories you made, as well as the love the three of you shared is no more. All of this could have been prevented once before, but the racing leagues in our nation refused to stop wasting crude oils on their redneck, boring ass sport.

You had a direct hand in killing your own family, due to your love for speeding.


I wish I didn't eat Taco Bell last night.

"I wish I didn't eat Taco Bell last night."

Granted, but you ate a dogs testicle instead.



I wish a had a BIG house.

granted but u are stuck in one room with a dog u are naked and the dog tries to hump u

i wish i wasnt sooo bored

lmfao...wow

Granted, you are suddenly very intrigued with all the available animal pr0n online.

I wish i could play anything perfectly on guitar

Granted, but your musical taste has all of a sudden become horrible, and all you WANT to play is Bob Marley and Avril Lavigne.


I wish that no more ricers with civics would rev their engine at my evo and try to race me.

( I won't waste my gas on you! )

granted but you have to eat nothing but philly cheese steaks and drink warm delicious milk. (No icky Soy cheese)

I wish I had a nice fur jacket made out of innocent, baby seal fur.

Granted, but the seal blood is still on it, you're in the middle of a forest, and a bear smells you, and all of a sudden is very interested in you . . .

I wish the President would fall down the stairs and look really stupid

Granted, but he falls on you end result lokkin like he givin to ya from behind


I wish these wannabe vicadins would actually work

Granted, but they work for 1 minute, and then you're back to the hellhole you were just in.

I wish guys wouldn't wear girl pants.