Laws of the Natural Universe
 

Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre .


Variation Law:
If you change lanes (traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.


Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.


Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.